Good progress made
I'm nearly a sixth of the way through the Cold Witness rewrite now. Those who have read the first draft will remember the chapter "Men in Black": I've renamed it "Top Brass", and the NSA men in black creeps have been improved enormously. Evans now has a trace of humanity about him. He feels like a normal peson. I've also improved the bit where Christina is caught listening at the keyhole (she overhears a conversation between Foyle and Evans outlining the future of the project). This time, I've cut out the implausible possibility of Christina being 'done away with' by the NSA if she talks. Instead, Evans wants to apply Special Protocol 79, a system by which C. can be consigned to the US federal justice system, perhaps going to jail for an undefined period of time. Foyle objects to this (Christina is only 18, after all, and it was innocent mistake), and eventually he wins Evans over to his point of view. The only alternative is for C. to join the core staff, and for her clearance to be upgraded to Secret. 'You either know nothing or everything,' as Foyle said. Things are so much better this time!
Random endnote: I'm beginning to think that our house is possessed by the devil. This evil little sod of a bird has been attacking the windows over the past few days, banging his beak against the glass, spraying muck all over the windows. He's a chaffinch, I think: we all thought it looked so funny and sweet to begin with, until he started driving us round the bend. We ended up lighting candles and Tilly lanterns under all the windows to drive him off. The neighbours must think we're mad. Also, the door leading into the sitting room has inexplicably developed a maddening squeak that no amount of oil of WD-40 can fix. Christ! Between the door and the damned bird (and my parents screaming at the thing), there's no silence these days.
I'm nearly a sixth of the way through the Cold Witness rewrite now. Those who have read the first draft will remember the chapter "Men in Black": I've renamed it "Top Brass", and the NSA men in black creeps have been improved enormously. Evans now has a trace of humanity about him. He feels like a normal peson. I've also improved the bit where Christina is caught listening at the keyhole (she overhears a conversation between Foyle and Evans outlining the future of the project). This time, I've cut out the implausible possibility of Christina being 'done away with' by the NSA if she talks. Instead, Evans wants to apply Special Protocol 79, a system by which C. can be consigned to the US federal justice system, perhaps going to jail for an undefined period of time. Foyle objects to this (Christina is only 18, after all, and it was innocent mistake), and eventually he wins Evans over to his point of view. The only alternative is for C. to join the core staff, and for her clearance to be upgraded to Secret. 'You either know nothing or everything,' as Foyle said. Things are so much better this time!
Random endnote: I'm beginning to think that our house is possessed by the devil. This evil little sod of a bird has been attacking the windows over the past few days, banging his beak against the glass, spraying muck all over the windows. He's a chaffinch, I think: we all thought it looked so funny and sweet to begin with, until he started driving us round the bend. We ended up lighting candles and Tilly lanterns under all the windows to drive him off. The neighbours must think we're mad. Also, the door leading into the sitting room has inexplicably developed a maddening squeak that no amount of oil of WD-40 can fix. Christ! Between the door and the damned bird (and my parents screaming at the thing), there's no silence these days.
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